Episode Summary: Session 9

Summary

Session 9 opens with extended out-of-character conversation among the players—Abdul, Shawn, Brad, Dayna, and Erin—as they coordinate multiple Uber Eats deliveries including poutine, bubble tea, and pizza. Abdul notes their recurring practice: "This is the only RPG group I've ever been a part of, especially online RPG where we all just agree that we're gonna blow a hundred dollars every couple weeks." The meta-conversation continues with discussion of Brad's self-built websites Family Wishlist and Bradacon, the latter having achieved unexpected popularity in Italy and coverage on Lifehacker and Gizmodo in 2007-2008. Additional topics include the shows True Calling, Bored to Death, Hypnospace Outlaw, sea pigs (Scotoplanes), and the Twilight film series.

The campaign resumes with the party gathered in the New Smoke food court for dinner with Greta following Sucks's musical performance. Greta reveals that The Guards seized control three weeks ago through a violent takeover at the Mayor's House, now controlling all scavenging operations. The party engages in chaotic strategic planning, with Chat proposing to exploit a "button in the neck" vulnerability and Brad suggesting undermining guard morale by revealing some guards are in an a cappella band. Sucks pursues Greta romantically, nearly derailing conversation with an inappropriate innuendo that forces him to apologize.

The campaign's climactic sequences involve Sucks Benedict's catastrophic experimentation with the Ever-Living Branch and Purple Transformative Goo. Vasso identifies the branch as similar to prosthetic limbs created by The Carvers in his commune. Through meditation while listening to Enya, Sucks successfully detaches the branch, discovering it is now permanently attuned to him and can reattach to any body part. Meanwhile, Safia (in rat form) and Monster infiltrate the Guard Storage Shed, following guard Doug down a staircase descending underground beneath The Foundry. The campaign ends with the party split between infiltration and experimentation.

Events

Out-of-Character Session Opening

Session 9 begins entirely out-of-character as the players coordinate food deliveries. Abdul observes their practice of spending approximately one hundred dollars every few weeks sending food to each other during online sessions. The conversation shifts to Brad's website Family Wishlist (familywishlist.com), created approximately 10 years prior for coordinating gift-giving and Secret Santa events within his family. The website allows users to create wish lists and reserve items without the recipient knowing what they will receive.

The players discuss Brad's other creation, Brad Icon (bradacon), an image-to-icon converter that gained unexpected popularity in Italy and was featured in a UK magazine, Lifehacker, and Gizmodo. Brad describes repeatedly attempting to add Bradacon to Wikipedia's icon page, only to be removed each time. Additional topics include True Calling (featuring Eliza Dushku and Zach Galifianakis), Bored to Death (starring Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis, and Ted Danson), and Hypnospace Outlaw, a game recreating the arcane early Internet of the 1990s.

The meta-conversation continues with discussion of sea pigs (Scotoplanes) after initially searching for swimming pigs, Dayna's upcoming trip to Prince George to help prepare a sold house, safety concerns around Facebook Marketplace exchanges, and the group's previous viewing of all five Twilight movies, all Harry Potter films, and the 50 Shades series during "Comics" sessions. Dayna reveals having watched Bridgerton four times and Twilight five times.

Dinner with Greta

The campaign transitions to gameplay with the party gathered around a table in the New Smoke food court. The mood is lighter than it has been since their arrival. Greta provides crucial intelligence: The Guards arrived three weeks ago and staged a violent takeover at the Mayor's House, establishing control over all scavenging operations in New Smoke.

The party begins chaotic strategic planning. Chat proposes exploiting a "button in the neck" vulnerability, suggesting creation of fashionable devices to activate this button en masse. Brad offers an alternative plan to undermine guard morale by revealing that some guards participate in an a cappella band, hoping this information will cause infighting. The group also considers using their Dust Hats and arrows against the guards.

Sucks continues his awkward romantic pursuit of Greta, nearly derailing the conversation with an inappropriate innuendo. He apologizes, admitting "I realize that most people aren't immortal" and that he speaks without thinking when he has strong feelings. Greta touches Sucks's hand and says "be careful" as the party prepares to infiltrate The Foundry. She departs for home, advising: "Tell me how things go. If you survive."

Reconnaissance and Yassandra's Recruitment

Cat convinces Yassandra to become a hero, providing a cape with the reasoning "Every hero needs a cape. I read it." Yassandra points out their house is only 12 feet away from their current location. Cat tasks Yassandra with creating a distraction at the front of The Foundry.

The party conducts reconnaissance of The Foundry. Shawn describes multiple smoke stacks constantly belching black smoke, with one notably not emitting smoke. Goober and Brusque are observed having tea. The party notices a two-minute window where no guards are visible, and identifies a storage shed set away from the foundry where multiple guards have entered but none have exited.

Cat calls down to the party: "How do you guys feel about murder or potential murder?" The group debates plans including dosing guards with weed smoke while climbing into the chimney.

Sucks's Discovery and Transformation

While searching through blankets in the New Smoke Market, Sucks finds "a piece of wood that looks like it was a branch off a tree. It's ragged at one end but you can see that on the tip of like one kind of knot of the branch there's a green leaf." This is the Ever-Living Branch.

Sucks discovers Stoppered Glass Bottles containing what appears to be Purple Transformative Goo. Despite warnings, he applies the goo to the branch. The transformation begins: the branch fuses with his arm, becoming a permanent appendage. Sucks realizes "this stick has sort of become an appendage"—his body now has two arms on one side.

A guard attempts to apprehend Sucks, who adopts the persona of Terry and claims to have "some kind of diet virulent diuretic disease," stating "The squirts have got me in their grips, young man." The guard flees, banging on the Guard Storage Shed door for entry.

Branch Removal and The Carvers

Vasso identifies the living wood branch as similar to prosthetic limbs created by The Carvers in his commune, used to replace lost limbs or augment natural bodies. These appendages can be attached or removed through calm mental concentration.

Sucks successfully removes the branch through meditation while listening to Enya on his mini disc player. Shawn describes the experience: "After a few moments of the soothing sounds of Enya coursing through your mini disc player, you feel the very unusual sensation of gently losing a limb." The branch is now specifically attuned to Sucks and can be reattached to any part of his body.

Sucks experiments with reattaching it to his forehead like a unicorn horn, creating a head-mounted limb that appears more integrated than Vasso's circlet. Vasso notes that the same group—The Carvers—would make both the prosthetic limbs and the circlets in the cult, suggesting a deep connection between these technologies.

Underground Infiltration

Safia (in rat form) and Monster successfully infiltrate the Guard Storage Shed. They follow Guard with Patchy Beard Doug as he rushes inside, slamming the door behind him. Doug and another guard discuss the "freaky old guy" whose diarrhea "was so hard that he started to mutate."

The guards turn and walk down a staircase descending underground into lamp-lit darkness beneath The Foundry. Safia and Monster follow them below, ending the campaign with the party split between the underground infiltration team and those remaining above ground.

Key Developments

Greta reveals The Guards seized control of New Smoke three weeks ago through a violent takeover at the Mayor's House
Sucks discovers the Ever-Living Branch, a piece of living wood with a green leaf still growing on it
Sucks applies Purple Transformative Goo to the Ever-Living Branch, causing it to permanently fuse with his arm as a new appendage
Vasso identifies the branch as similar to prosthetic technology created by The Carvers in his commune
Sucks successfully detaches the branch through meditation and discovers it is permanently attuned to him, capable of reattaching to any body part
Vasso recalls that The Carvers create both prosthetic limbs and communication circlets in the cult
Cat recruits Yassandra as a hero, providing a cape for the mission
[Safia and Monster infiltrate](timestamp://caf38850-a8a7-4025-9682-6fa313e1cdd5/125:40) the Guard Storage Shed and follow Doug down a staircase into underground passages beneath The Foundry
Sucks receives Alignment System Experience Points for chaotic alignment by leaping into danger without a plan when using the goo
The party receives end-of-session Experience Points for learning about the tree arm technology and looting memorable treasures (the stick and bottles)
No Bonds are resolved this campaign
No characters have sufficient Experience Points to level up