Louise Guzman

Summary

Louise Guzman (also referred to as "Goose" and "Louise" by different characters) is a shrewd businessman who operates an establishment in Rex Tree dealing in questionable goods. In Session 4 of the campaign, Guzman serves as the party's employer, initially confronting them about a failed mission to recover his stolen book, then subsequently hiring them to escort a shipment to New Smoke. Guzman is characterized by an established history of conflict with The Sniff Lord and maintains connections to The Organization. The character is voiced by Shawn, the campaign's Game Master.

Guzman presents himself as a philosophical operator in morally gray territory, stating "In this line of work, rotten wrong is subjective." Despite running a business that deals in implied contraband—including oregano bricks (implied marijuana), hippie blankets, and hair dreading solution—Guzman demonstrates business acumen and a willingness to negotiate with the party, ultimately agreeing to terms that benefit both sides.

Appearance

Guzman is tall enough that Sucks must stand on tiptoes to get face-to-face with him. He habitually smokes from a long cigarette holder, sometimes continuing to suck on it even after the cigarette has burned out. During negotiations, Guzman employs a traditional Negotiating Hood, which he pulls over his head when conducting business discussions—though in Session 4 he ties it around his neck like a babushka scarf. Guzman's establishment is located at ground level with a window that faces a tree.

History

Session 4

At the beginning of the session, Guzman confronts the party at The Acorn Vernon Spa about their catastrophic failure to retrieve Guzman's Book. Expressing extreme displeasure, he states: "sir, after all of this, all of the geese that you killed in my apartment in the horrible mess that you made and let the geese get away with my valuables. My book was not recovered. Okay? So I will be talking to The Organization. Absolutely unacceptable."

During this confrontation, Guzman reveals his attempted frame-up: he had initially tried to pin the party's deaths on The Sniff Lord by writing a threatening note. As he explains, "Now, at first I will admit that I found this not quite alarming. Until, that is, you came walking through the door of my establishment." The plan failed because the party walked in alive, exposing his deception.

When Sucks presents a note falsely attributed to The Sniff Lord claiming responsibility for the chaos (and mentioning Guzman's underwear was found on a dead goose named Errol), Guzman connects this to his ongoing conflict with the Sniff Lord, stating "I had the acolytes of this Sniff Lord all this time."

The party offers Guzman a Gold Wedding Ring to assist in tracking down those who stole his belongings. "He picks up the ring and looks at it and then looks at the inscription. He goes, ah, yes, this will do nicely, thank you."

Negotiations then shift to new employment. Guzman admits that negotiating stresses him out and "that he normally has people for that." When the party attempts to argue for standard market rates, Guzman dismisses this notion: "I don't know how you think economics works, but there is no such thing as a standard standard rates."

After extended negotiation involving Negotiating Hoods, Guzman ultimately agrees to multiple terms: he will tell The Organization the job was done, buy The Six Pigs from the party, arrange Monster's massage (stating "I will organize a massage for your Cat, provided maybe I pocket the fee from the organization"), and hire them to escort Guzman's Shipment to near Smoke. The final payment is set at 15 coins per day for three days, totaling 45 coins to be collected from Guzman's agent in New Smoke.

When questioned about the morality of the shipment's contents, Guzman responds philosophically: "In this line of work, rotten wrong is subjective. I will give you 15 coins and not that. Not the silver."

Guzman establishes the time constraint clearly: "Yes. Up until three days. It does not take more than three days to get the new smoke." He also reminds the party during negotiations: "We'd also like to remind you that I bought you six pigs," referencing his earlier purchase from them.

The session reveals Guzman has connections beyond Rex Tree, including an agent in New Smoke who will complete the payment, and ties to Vasso's aunt who lives in Brampton. Katniss notes: "I believe that your children may know some things about Luis Guzman that are better left unsaid."

Key Attributes

Business Operations: Owns and operates an establishment in Rex Tree that deals in questionable goods including hippie blankets, oregano bricks (implied marijuana), and hair dreading solution
Physical Stature: Tall enough that Sucks must stand on tiptoes to confront him face-to-face
Signature Habit: Smokes from a long cigarette holder, sometimes continuing after the cigarette burns out
Negotiation Style: Uses traditional Negotiating Hoods during business discussions; admits negotiating stresses him out and normally delegates it
Connected: Has ties to The Organization, maintains an agent in New Smoke, and knows Vasso's aunt in Brampton
Economic Philosophy: Rejects the concept of standard market rates, claiming "there is no such thing as a standard standard rates"
Moral Flexibility: States "In this line of work, rotten wrong is subjective" when questioned about his business dealings
Ongoing Conflicts: Has a history of antagonism with The Sniff Lord and his acolytes
Employer Resources: Employs massage technicians and dishwashers; has people who normally handle negotiations for him
Tracking Capabilities: Can use items like the Gold Wedding Ring to track down those who have stolen from him