Negotiation with Pine Cone Man
Summary
The Negotiation with Pine Cone Man is a multi-stage confrontation and business transaction in Session 7 involving the party's chaotic attempt to complete their sweater delivery deal while infiltrating New Smoke. The event begins with Sucks Benedict and Vasso singing loudly in the Underground Canal System, which alerts Pine Cone Man to their presence beneath his tent. Safia, in pigeon form, becomes captured when she attempts to distract the merchant from the noise below. Sucks then fails to rescue her, resulting in both being held by the Pine Cone Man, who accuses them of thievery and begins dragging them toward the Guards of New Smoke. After the guards leave and tensions de-escalate, the party conducts their business transaction through a combination of formal negotiation customs and aggressive social tactics that violate all three of the Pine Cone Man's stated boundaries, culminating in a reluctant deal despite his declaration that he will "grow to regret this deeply."
Details
Infiltration and Capture
The event begins when Sucks Benedict and Vasso sing loudly in the underground tunnels beneath New Smoke to coax Goober up a ladder. Their voices echo through the drainage system, with Sucks yelling about being "on the market" for ladies. Safia, in pigeon form on the surface, discovers a manhole cover inside Pine Cone Man's tent that connects to her companions only five feet below. She attempts to signal them to be quiet by tapping on the manhole, but the noise only draws more attention.
When Pine Cone Man investigates, Safia performs an injured bird routine to distract him, rolling a 7-9 on her defy danger move. She succeeds in drawing him away but becomes captured in the process—he picks her up, pets her, and places her on his shoulder. Sucks then kicks open the manhole cover, creating a loud clang, and rushes out to rescue Safia. However, he fails his defy danger roll with a 6 (raised to 7 by spending Safia's bond), forcing him to choose between closing the manhole to protect Vasso and Kat or leaving it open to escape. He leaves it open and attempts to distract the merchant with a fart before running, but fails another defy danger roll with a 3. The much larger and heavier Pine Cone Man easily grabs him by his clothing.
Pine Cone Man accuses Sucks of thievery and begins dragging him toward the guards, demanding to know:
"Is this how you generally conduct business? Crawl through a secret tunnel, pop up wherever you feel, and then start yelling and fighting and trying to jump men in their own tents?"
Post-Guard Negotiation
After the guards leave and Pine Cone Man closes his tent, the party attempts to conduct their business transaction. Sucks emerges from hiding under the Pine Cone Man's ghillie suit and attempts to assert dominance through bizarre social tactics, introducing himself:
"I'm Sucks Benedict, leader of this ragtag group and also speed skating champion in my high school"
Pine Cone Man demonstrates extreme frustration, breathing hard enough to ruffle his clothing and creating tension in his fingers as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Kat initiates proper negotiation protocol by putting on her Negotiating Hood, prompting Pine Cone Man to visibly relax and don his own impressive deep red velvet hood with gold piping. He remarks:
"Finally a little bit of civility"
After negotiating the location of the merchandise, Pine Cone Man summons two athletic assistants with a whistle to retrieve the goods. He honors the payment agreement by reaching into his pine cones and producing three bags, stating:
"45 coins each. That was the agreement"
He provides payment for Vasso, Sucks, and Kat, plus a monkey-sized hood for Monster. When the party attempts to negotiate additional payment for Safia despite her being in bird form, Pine Cone Man refuses:
"I don't pay animals. I don't understand why this is difficult for you to understand"
When Safia transforms back to human form and emerges from the tunnels, he reluctantly throws her a bag of coins. Sucks then attempts to lie about Monster being a shapeshifter to secure additional payment for the cat, creating further tension when Pine Cone Man threatens consequences if the lie is discovered.
Pumpkin Pie Demonstration
Kat retrieves a pumpkin pie from Goober by descending through the manhole and brings it back to demonstrate to Pine Cone Man. The merchant is initially skeptical, declaring out-of-season pumpkin pies "impossible." When he tastes the pie, he becomes deeply emotional, making elaborate tasting gestures while sampling both the filling and crust. A single tear runs down his cheek as he realizes the enormous profit potential, declaring: "I didn't think this was possible. Do you understand what this could mean?"
Final Deal
After the pumpkin pie demonstration, Pine Cone Man stands and offers his hand to make a deal. Kat refuses to shake it because Pine Cone Man had refused her hand twice earlier, creating a tense power dynamic. Pine Cone Man reiterates his three boundaries: he does not appreciate being lied to, being threatened, or being spurned. The party has violated all three boundaries during the negotiation.
Sucks asks if Pine Cone Man will pass on "the deal of the fucking century" over a handshake refusal, and Kat shifts focus to money rather than trust. Despite expressing that he doesn't want to work with people he can't trust and feeling like he's "going insane" from the party's behavior, Pine Cone Man is worn down by their aggressive tactics. The party employs presumptive closing techniques, with Sucks clapping him on the back while specifically avoiding a handshake, and the entire group chanting "deal, deal." The scene fades to black with Pine Cone Man stating "I feel that I am going to grow to regret this deeply" as the credits roll, ending Session 7 on an ominous note.
Participants
- Sucks Benedict — Captured by Pine Cone Man after failed rescue attempt; introduces himself as "leader of this ragtag group and also speed skating champion"; employs aggressive negotiation tactics including lies about Monster
- Safia — Captured in pigeon form while attempting to distract Pine Cone Man; eventually transforms back to human form to receive payment
- Kat — Initiates formal negotiation protocol with Negotiating Hood; retrieves pumpkin pie demonstration; refuses Pine Cone Man's handshake
- Vasso — Sings loudly in underground tunnels with Sucks; receives payment of 45 coins
- Pine Cone Man — Captures Safia and Sucks; conducts business transaction despite extreme frustration; provides payment and agrees to future pumpkin pie business
- Monster — Receives monkey-sized hood as part of payment; subject of Sucks's lie about being a shapeshifter
- Goober — Coaxed up ladder by singing; holds pumpkin pie for demonstration
Consequences
- Payment received — Vasso, Sucks Benedict, Kat, and Safia each receive 45 coins; Monster receives a monkey-sized hood
- Business relationship established — Pine Cone Man reluctantly agrees to work with the party on pumpkin pie distribution despite his reservations
- Trust damaged — Party violates all three of Pine Cone Man's stated boundaries (lying, threatening, spurning), creating a foundation of mistrust for future dealings
- Negotiating Hood protocol — Kat demonstrates knowledge of formal merchant customs, earning some respect from Pine Cone Man
- Party reputation — Pine Cone Man's assessment of the party's chaotic business practices establishes them as difficult but potentially profitable partners
- Bonds affected — Safia's bond with Sucks used to modify his failed defy danger roll during rescue attempt