Pine Cone Man

The Pine Cone Man is a merchant operating a large tent in the New Smoke Market, distinguished by his ceremonial pine cone regalia and his position as a well-connected community figure. In Session 7, he serves as the party's intended contact but their first meeting becomes violent when he catches Sucks Benedict emerging from a manhole beneath his tent. Despite being attacked, he ultimately protects the party from the New Smoke Guards, revealing complex motivations and a willingness to work with them.

Summary

The Pine Cone Man runs one of the most prominent market stalls in New Smoke, positioned with one stall to his left and four more down the right side. His large tent contains a massive inventory of salvaged goods including bolts of fabric, weapons, scented oils, salvaged materials (metal, wood, wire bundles), and technological objects displayed on a table at the front. Better quality items are kept hidden, possibly concealed within his distinctive clothing. The tent features alcove areas formed by stacked merchandise, woven baskets full of rolled-up rugs, and notably, a manhole cover set into the ground — suggesting knowledge of or access to the underground canal system beneath New Smoke.

Appearance

The Pine Cone Man is described as a full-grown man, large, very pale-skinned, rotund, and bald. He is approximately twice to three times as heavy as the teenage Sucks Benedict, demonstrating considerable physical strength. His most distinctive feature is his ceremonial pine cone regalia — described as "basically like a poncho" or cape made entirely of pine cones that extends close to the ground, worn over his regular clothing. The outfit makes "this crazy shuffling clacking sound" as he moves, adding to his presence. Safia observes that this regalia "might have some sort of ceremonial significance," particularly as Luis Guzman wore similar pine cone clothing in a previous session, establishing it as a possible merchant or faction identifier.

When moving through the marketplace, the rattling pine cones create an audible signature. The pine cone poncho appears ceremonial rather than merely decorative, worn over his regular clothes with the cones close enough together that "you can only imagine the little like seeds that are left in there."

History

Session 7

The Pine Cone Man first appears holding court at his market stall, where he is "quite well liked" in the community. The scene is described as having "a very like community vibe" with the merchant laughing with customers, greeting couples out for walks, offering samples ("try some of this"), and kissing old ladies' hands. When one elderly woman visits, he "kisses an old lady's hand. She laughs. He like, hands her something. She gives him some money."

His tent is positioned between other market stalls, butting up against a smithy wall where hammering can be heard. The tent interior reveals his extensive inventory — the stall is "absolutely festooned with shit, stuff that you don't even recognize," including weird tech baubles, food, and clothing. Safia identifies him and his stall during reconnaissance as potentially valuable.

The encounter turns violent when he discovers intruders. Finding Sucks Benedict emerging from the manhole, he immediately assumes theft, grabbing and restraining Sucks while shouting "So it's thievery, is it? Thief. You're caught. Your ruse is up. Thief" and "We'll see what the guards have to say about this." He begins dragging Sucks toward the guards, correcting the boy's pronunciation: "It's pronounced ruse, you ruse."

When Safia (in pigeon form) attacks to free Sucks, the Pine Cone Man fights back, getting his face bloodied with visible cuts but managing to "smack the bird hard enough to nearly break her shapeshifting." Despite the violence, he shows a surprisingly gentle side with what he believes is an injured bird, carefully picking up the pigeon and placing her on his shoulder while petting her and saying "Oh, you poor thing. You poor, poor thing. So sweet. So sweet. Why don't you come with me?" He announces to his customers: "Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you don't mind, but I've brought with me a dear, sweet animal in need."

After Vasso invokes divine authority and the Pine Cone Man realizes multiple intruders have emerged from beneath his tent, he makes a strategic decision to protect them. He orders them "Back in the hole, back in the hole." When three guards arrive to investigate, he covers for the party, lying that there was "just a bit of a. Bit of a hullabaloo about a particular item I had for sale." He bribes the guards with crates of his homemade Mushroom Brew: "Could I interest you gentlemen in some of my very own mushroom brew?"

After the guards leave, he closes his tent for the day, announcing: "Ladies and gentlemen, honored friends and customers, I'm so sorry, but I'm closed for the day. Please return tomorrow when my wares will be set out once more. Enjoy your evening." He pulls curtains to fully enclose the tent, trapping the party inside for questioning.

During the subsequent confrontation, he demands answers: "Is this how you generally conduct business? Crawl through a secret tunnel, pop up wherever you feel, and then start yelling and fighting and trying to jump men in their own tents?" He is particularly concerned about recovering his merchandise, stating "I am on the verge of literally begging you to tell me where my merchandise is" and "I will do anything if it means getting my merchandise and removing you from my lives as quickly as possible."

He summons two employees with a whistle — a lean man and a lean woman in their mid-20s who respond immediately. After whispering instructions, they run out to retrieve the Negotiating Hood from outside the tent, demonstrating his organizational capabilities.

The Pine Cone Man reveals strict business principles, declaring "There are three things that I don't appreciate. Being lied to, being threatened, and being spurned." Regarding payment, he insists "If I paid every person and their bird, I would be broken" and "I don't pay animals. I don't understand why this is difficult for you to understand." He shows frustration with the party's inexperience: "I have a feeling that you children have no idea how business is conducted" and calls Sucks Benedict "a terrible judge of character, child."

When he learns the party possesses Pumpkin Pies, his demeanor shifts dramatically. He becomes excited, saying "I didn't think this was possible. Do you understand what this could mean?" Despite his excitement, he remains cautious about trust: "I feel very good about money. I do not feel good about working with people I can't trust" and concludes "I feel that I am going to grow to regret this deeply."

Key Attributes

Physical Strength: Easily restrains Sucks Benedict despite the boy's attempts to escape, described as two to three times the teenager's weight
Combat Capability: Holds his own against Safia in pigeon form, landing a blow hard enough to nearly break her shapeshifting despite sustaining facial injuries
Community Standing: Well-liked in New Smoke, maintains friendly relationships with townspeople, recognized as a prominent marketplace figure
Quick Thinking: Rapidly assesses the situation with multiple intruders and decides to protect them rather than turn them in to the New Smoke Guards
Organizational Skills: Employs at least two athletic assistants who respond instantly to his whistle, demonstrating structured operations
Business Acumen: Operates a diverse inventory, keeps valuable items hidden, successfully bribes guards, maintains strict principles about payment and trust
Inventory: Sells bolts of fabric, weapons, scented oils, salvaged materials, technological baubles, food, clothing, and produces Mushroom Brew
Ceremonial Regalia: Pine cone poncho/cape with apparent factional or merchant guild significance
Hidden Items: Owns a Ghillie Suit that Sucks Benedict steals during the encounter
Underground Access: Tent contains a manhole cover, suggesting knowledge of or involvement with the canal system beneath New Smoke
Speech Patterns: Addresses crowds as "Ladies and gentlemen," corrects pronunciation, uses phrases like "Mercantile. Mercantile" when thinking
Animal Kindness: Despite rough treatment of thieves, shows genuine gentleness with what he believes is an injured bird