Sucks's Date Preparation

Summary

In Session 8 of the campaign, Sucks Benedict undertook elaborate preparations for a romantic date with the Teenage Salvager Woman. The preparations included attempts to purchase fashionable goat horns, which resulted in Sucks being scammed by the Counterfeit Goat Horns Merchant who sold him antlers disguised as horns for 20 coins before fleeing. Sucks recruited Terry and the Barrel-Chested Guards to perform an acapella serenade during the date, and received extensive fashion consultation from Cat, who also volunteered to secretly feed Sucks romantic lines during the date itself. Sucks planned an Italian-themed dinner at Meat Party to complete the romantic evening.

Details

Sucks began his preparations by attempting to acquire goat horns, which were described as the current fashion trend in New Smoke Aftermarket. He visited multiple vendors but found the genuine horns sold out everywhere. Eventually, the Counterfeit Goat Horns Merchant approached him with an offer. When Sucks inquired about goat horns, the merchant initially offered them for 10 coins, but Sucks countered with 20 coins, stating "I can give you 10 coins for counterfeit cohorts." The merchant accepted the higher price and sold Sucks what were actually antlers, not goat horns. After the transaction, the merchant admitted "this isn't my stall" and ran off with the money.

Undeterred by the scam, Sucks turned his attention to arranging musical entertainment. He approached Terry and the Barrel-Chested Guards with a direct request: "I need you guys to help me make a girl fall in love with me." The guards responded with immediate enthusiasm, asking "What the fuck? They give you the impression we could ever say no to an opportunity like that?" They revealed they had been practicing acapella "every second night, practicing, hours on end. And now, finally, an opportunity to show our stuff in the market." The guards considered performing for the date an honor and agreed to provide their services for free.

Cat became involved in the planning phase, offering detailed fashion advice and debating whether Sucks should wear formal pants or shorts to accompany his top hat. Cat also volunteered to act as a Cyrano de Bergerac figure, planning to eavesdrop on the date and feed Sucks romantic lines to help him make conversation. Sucks rationalized this assistance, thinking "Yeah. That would probably make up for anything I say or do that she finds distasteful."

For the dinner portion of the date, Sucks planned to bring pie and arranged an Italian-themed meal featuring noodles at Meat Party.

Participants

Sucks Benedict — orchestrated all preparations and is the principal in the upcoming date
Teenage Salvager Woman — the intended recipient of Sucks's romantic efforts
Counterfeit Goat Horns Merchant — scammed Sucks by selling antlers as goat horns for 20 coins
Cat — provided fashion consultation and volunteered to feed Sucks romantic dialogue during the date
Terry — leader of the acapella group recruited for the serenade
Barrel-Chested Guards — Terry's companions who will perform the acapella serenade

Consequences

Sucks lost 20 coins to the counterfeit horn scam, acquiring antlers instead of the fashionable goat horns he sought
The Barrel-Chested Guards secured their first public performance opportunity after extensive nightly practice sessions
Cat positioned themselves as a hidden assistant for the date, establishing a collaborative approach to Sucks's romantic pursuit
Arrangements were finalized for dinner at Meat Party with an Italian theme
Sucks acquired what he believes are fashionable accessories (the counterfeit horns) to wear on the date