Barrel-Chested Guards
Summary
The Barrel-Chested Guards are a group of 3-5 large guards who patrol the New Smoke Aftermarket in Session 8 of the campaign. While their primary duty is market security, they share a deep passion for acapella singing, practicing for hours every night despite never having had the opportunity to perform publicly. When Sucks Benedict approaches them with an unusual request involving a romantic serenade, they reveal their hidden artistic talents and emotional investment in their craft. Terry serves among their number.
Appearance
The guards are described as barrel-chested and large in build, befitting their role as market patrol. Their emotional nature becomes immediately apparent when discussing their singing passion—they tear up readily, wipe tears from their eyes, and express enthusiasm through physical gestures like slapping each other on the shoulders.
History
Session 8
The guards encounter Sucks when he approaches them for help making a girl fall in love with him. Their initial reaction is to laugh hysterically at the request. However, the moment Sucks Benedict mentions needing them to perform an acapella romantic serenade, their demeanor shifts completely.
The guards become overwhelmingly emotional at the prospect of finally performing. As one describes: "They're howling. Wait, they're, like, wiping tears from their eyes and slapping each other on the shoulders." Their enthusiasm is absolute and immediate: "What the fuck? They give you the impression we could ever say no to an opportunity like that?"
The guards affirm among themselves that this represents the culmination of their long practice: "We would be absolutely thrilled. This is what we've been talking about, guys." The prospect moves them so deeply that "you can see that they're all. They're. They're all tearing up."
They consider the opportunity to serenade Sucks Benedict's date—the Teenage Salvager Woman—an honor and refuse any payment for the performance. Their commitment to their art and their gratitude for the chance to finally perform publicly overshadow any mercenary concerns.
Key Attributes
- Patrol Duty: Serve as guards in the New Smoke Aftermarket
- Acapella Singers: Practice for hours every night, demonstrating serious dedication to their craft
- Emotionally Expressive: Display their feelings openly, particularly regarding their passion for singing
- Unpaid Performance: Consider performing an honor and refuse payment
- Group Members: Include Terry among their number
- Group Size: 3-5 members
- Long-Standing Dream: Had never performed publicly before Sucks Benedict's request despite extensive practice