Taxidermy Bear

Summary

The Taxidermy Bear is a stuffed grizzly bear discovered in Session 10 of the campaign, leaned against the wall of the Metal Cell where Sucks and Vasso are imprisoned. Distinguished by its crooked base, the bear initially terrifies both prisoners when Vasso's Light spell illuminates the cell, causing them to believe momentarily that a living bear shares their confinement. The taxidermy specimen becomes the foundation for an escape plan when Sucks proposes gutting the bear and using its pelt as a disguise to frighten the guards.

Properties

The taxidermy bear stands as a full-sized grizzly specimen with a notably crooked base. Its construction follows typical taxidermy methods: the interior structure resembles a statue, with the animal's skin stretched over a rigid form and filled with stuffing material. The pelt itself proves too small vertically but too large horizontally to properly fit two teenage boys, requiring them to stand side-by-side rather than stacked. The bear head features hollow eye sockets, and like all bears, possesses only a small nubbin tail—"just enough to cover their buttholes," as discussed during the escape planning.

When gutted, the bear yields loose skin that hangs off any frame attempting to wear it. The neck remains almost too stiff to bend naturally, and the overall pelt does not effectively cover two people attempting to use it as a costume. The interior statue-like structure must be separated from the skin to make the disguise wearable.

History

Session 10

The taxidermy bear enters the campaign when Sucks and Vasso find themselves imprisoned in the Metal Cell. The GM describes it as "leaned up against the wall" with "its base kind of crooked." When Vasso casts Light to illuminate their surroundings, both prisoners panic, mistaking the taxidermy for a living bear. Sucks's vision remains particularly impaired due to poison affecting his eyes, compounding the initial confusion.

Once the prisoners realize the bear is stuffed rather than alive, Sucks proposes an elaborate escape plan: gut the bear, remove its stuffing, and use the pelt as a disguise with Vasso on his shoulders, pretending to be a real bear to scare the guards. Dayna suggests an alternative use—employing parts of the bear to pick the cell lock. The group debates the anatomical details of bears, establishing that bears have small nubbin tails. Sucks plans to enhance the disguise's realism by shoving his Wooden Stick Arm through the bear's rear to serve as a tail.

The GM presents the prisoners with a choice: gut the bear slowly for a more convincing disguise, or work quickly at the cost of quality. The players choose speed, and the GM warns them the result will be less convincing. The deception's success will require "a defy danger charisma of some kind when you're actually in the costume."

The prisoners successfully remove the pelt, discovering that "the inside of a taxidermied animal is like a statue, basically." The resulting loose bear skin fails to effectively cover two teenage boys. They position themselves side-by-side in a three-legged-race configuration, holding the seam closed with their inner arms. Vasso's glowing circlet causes light to emanate through the hollow eye sockets of the bear head, creating what the GM describes as a monstrous and horrifying appearance—"the almost too stiff neck of a grizzly bear, skin hanging off."