Hillary Duff Poster

Summary

The Hillary Duff Poster is a stolen poster owned by Sucks, who considers it one of his best friends. In Session 5 of the campaign, Sucks ranks the poster as his fourth-best friend in his friendship hierarchy, positioned above Cat but below Goober. The poster's status as a cherished companion reveals Sucks's attachment to inanimate objects and his unusual approach to friendship. In Session 6, the poster was taken by Nick Silver after Sucks offered it as a trade item during negotiations and Nick later claimed it as compensation for being attacked by the party.

Properties

The poster depicts Hillary Duff, a celebrity, and was stolen by Sucks at some point prior to Session 5. Sucks treats the poster as a sentient friend rather than a simple decoration, assigning it a specific rank in his hierarchy of relationships. The poster requires no maintenance or interaction, yet maintains its position in Sucks's friendship rankings.

History

Session 5

During Session 5, Sucks reveals his friendship hierarchy while under attack by a pumpkin creature. He states: "Then it's the Hillary Duff poster that I stole," establishing the poster's position as his fourth-best friend. Sucks attempts to complete his ranking by saying, "And again, in order from best to my best friends to the least, it is for Gerald the pig. Then. Ow. Then goober. Then the Hillary Duff—" before being choked off mid-sentence by the creature. The poster ranks below Gerald the pig (first), Goober (third), and above Cat (fifth) in Sucks's personal friend list.

Episode: "Session 6"

The poster became a bargaining chip when Sucks offered it to Nick Silver during negotiations, attempting to trade it for more specific information about Nick's available jobs. This offer prompted a Parlay roll, with Abdul's player rolling a 9 (6 plus charisma modifier), though the outcome of this negotiation remained unclear throughout the encounter.

The poster's fate took a decisive turn during the party's confrontation with Nick Silver. After Nick froze the party with his magical staff, Sucks protested the loss, stating "You did take my Hillary Duff poster." As Nick prepared to leave, he looked directly at Sucks and declared, "And I'm keeping the poster," claiming it as compensation for the party's attack on him. The theft of this treasured possession—ranked among Sucks's closest friends—represented Nick's final statement on the encounter and marked a significant personal loss for Sucks.